Well, another month gone by and I have to say, I've had a pretty crappy three months behind me, professionally speaking. That has NOTHING to do with the guys I'm working with, they've been so patient with me. It's the fact that I took on three projects. That was colossally stupid of me. I just don't know what I was thinking when I said yes, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. I guess I thought "they're only 5 pages/12 pages long, what harm can it do?"
ALOT of harm. Firstly, when I'm working one book, I feel guilty for the other two guys. That's on me, totally. Secondly, you really can't give all of your creative attention to multiple projects unless you've been doing one of them for a while because doing things creatively requires a certain amount of research. Penciling has more to do with just drawing pretty pictures. It's about research, development, planning, filling the subconscious with images and media that are conducive to the creative process. And when you're doing that over three projects, things get very muddled and confused, unless your some kind of savant or something. Hell, even a savant is somewhat single minded. When I started two of the projects last year, it was slow, but not impossible. But after finishing one project, I was on a high! I was Supergirl. And now, I find myself in the crunch, three projects deep, all of them good projects... and attention split beyond recognition.
Adding to my frustration with my work, I haven't been keeping up with media such as the DA, CBR, Newsarama and such. I'm on the computer enough, but I kept running over to Facebook to play some games and socialize. Bad idea guys. Very true, I needed SOME form of down time, but it was at the expense of productivity, and that I just can't have.
That being said, past is past. I've spoken to my current working partners, and assuming they'll still have me, I'm going to redouble my efforts to get my work in on time and not micromanage ever single panel. Starting now, this is a rededication to a craft that I want to master. I'm going to be taking on more media based web surfing in hopes of rekindling the spark that led me down the road of comic book penciling in the first place. I'm going to catch up on my reading and really concentrate my attention.
I have to allow myself some compassion. I work a demanding, commission based job from 9-5, and when I get home, I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I also miss my family and sometimes, you just want to sit with them and enjoy some quality time. However, that's not any excuse for my lack of production. I want to go on public record to my writers in stating my apologies. I've been very Yin in my compassion to myself.... Time for some Yang (tough love). ::::smack, smack:::::
In the future, I will only be doing one job at a time. Lesson, quite painfully, learned.